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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Say, Can You See?....
 


Say, Can You See?

Is anyone else half blind without glasses, or is it just me? Iím telling you, I just canít see a thing any more. Iíve been using contact lenses Ė but I finally decided I am tired of fooling with poking my cold finger in my eye every morning.

Iím not a candidate for the new lasik surgery, so I decided to get out of contacts and go back to bifocals. They make them without lines, so you canít tell they are bifocals and old coots donít look quite so much like old coots, at least we hope not.

I was past due for my eye check-up anyhow. My doctor has this thing going where he refuses to refill your disposable contact lens order unless you come in for an annual eye exam. But last time I went the contact company had a two-for-one deal of their own, so I got an extra large supply.

Anyhow, I went for my eye exam, and afterwards the doctor conveniently tired to hard sell me eyewear in his office by making me listen to a technicianís sales pitch. Finally, I just said, "I want my prescription." I found out later that if you ask for your prescription, they have to give it to you. Itís the law. Doctors need to stick to doctoring, in my opinion, and stay out of the eyewear business.

My eyes were dilated and I couldnít find the door of the doctorís office Ė much less pick out glasses! I figured Iíd probably be able to get a better deal by shopping around for glasses. Eyewear has become a high fashion business and a highly competitive industry.

I asked my friends, but everyone had a different opinion of the best place to get glasses. Finally, I called around and found a store with a "buy one, get one free" deal, which is what I wanted since I have a tendency to forget where I left my glasses and an extra pair helps me avoid panic.

The latest fashion seems to be the frameless style, so thatís what I wanted Ė no expensive designer frames for me. Naturally, when I asked about "no frames" they led me to a "special" collection, which was special mostly because the glasses in that group cost too much. But I wanted them. Why get something you donít want, I reasoned to myself.

Who knows whether you are getting a good deal or not, though, by the time they finish adding on all the extras you want like anti-glare, anti-scratch, and shatter-proof lenses Ė not to even mention the extra charge for bifocals. By the time the sales person finished adding it all up, the calculator was smoking.

They did give me a second pair free, however, not the expensive frameless ones, of course, but some from a different "special" collection. This collection was "special" because the glasses were all cheap. I didnít care. I picked out a nice pair with spring hinges and once again the sales person used the red-hot calculator to add on the extras which made the free pair not exactly free.

I was beginning to think I might as well have bought the over-priced glasses from my greedy eye doc Ė who will soon be my ex eye doctor as Iíve decided to change. Doctors and medical specialists are a dime a dozen in this town. The consumer always wins because we have the option to take our business elsewhere. Will they never learn?

How do I like my glasses? Well, to tell the truth, I donít have any. Seems the frameless ones could not be made on the spot in an hour and had to be done elsewhere. That figures. I will supposedly get them in a week to 10 days if nothing goes wrong. But what could possibly go wrong?

I donít know why I have this nagging feeling that I might be writing this story before itís over.


Copyright 2004 Sheila Moss
 
 



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