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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Selling the Entertainment Center...
 


Selling the Entertainment Center

"Mom, I want to get rid of the entertainment center in my room. It takes up too much space and is in the way."

"But that is a nice piece of furniture. I paid a lot of money for it only 25 years ago."

"Mom, entertainment centers went out with invention of flat screen television. I donít want it."

"Okay, maybe I can sell it."

But everyone else has a flat screen television too. My expensive entertainment center is now an expensive white elephant. Not to be deterred, I listed it online. It must be worth at least $100. I took photos and posted an ad.

No one responded.

What is the matter with these people? This is a nice entertainment center with room for a large television, VHS player, CD player, cable box, turntable, giant speakers, a complete set of encyclopedias and the kitty litter box.

"Mom, no one has that stuff anymore."

Maybe I am asking too much. I slashed the price to $50 and tried not to think about how much it cost me a mere 25 years ago.

No one replied to my ad.

I saw an article about turning this type of entertainment center into a childís play kitchen. Add a tiny sink and plastic burners where the television used to go. Paint the glass doors and make a tiny refrigerator. Too cute.
 
I suggested this in my ad when I reduced the price again to $25. But apparently no one has a child that needs a play kitchen, at least not one the size of a white elephant."

I give up! Entertainment center FREE.

No one wanted it, not even for free. Iíve heard that used furniture stores are full of similar items. I probably canít even donate it to charity.

Then miracle of miracles, I received an inquiry. ďWhat size is the space for the television?Ē I grabbed my measuring tape and posted the dimensions before he changed his mind.
 
There was no response.

Time marched on. A month passed while we continued to hate the entertainment center that we used to love. It was like a marriage gone wrong.

Then, "I want it if it will fit in my SUV," someone posted.
 
"I donít think it will fit inside a vehicle, I think you will need a truck."
 
"I want it," said another person. "I want it," said a third person. What? No one wanted it and suddenly they are fighting over it.
 
"Okay, Shannon first, Dottie next, and Louann can be third." Iím going to make people mad over this, I thought.

"I measured and it will not fit in my vehicle," said Shannon. "It is one inch too large."

"Dottie, itís yours." Can you pick it up?

"Can I have until this weekend? I donít want to move it in the rain."

I cleaned all the pictures, games, plants and other junk off the top, moved the TV and got it ready to roll. I had no idea whatsoever what Dottie wanted it for and I didnít ask. She wants it, she wants it, at last someone wants it.
  
Dottie called the next morning. She was on the way. She called again and was lost. Good grief, I hope she will not give up.

Finally, she arrived with her husband to move it.  Dottie didnít look like she could help much and I sure canít with my bad back. Fortunately, my son was home and I enlisted his help to move it. I didnít want to miss a chance to get rid of it at this point.

At last it was gone. I had to give it away, but at least I didnít have to pay to have it hauled off.


Copyright 2015 Sheila Moss
 
 



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