Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
The time was here for the big event, our adventure
tour to Egypt. Day one was lost somewhere in a time warp due to the
eight hour difference in time between the U.S. and Egypt. Before the
warp, most of the day was spent wandering around JRK airport in New
York trying to find Egypt Air.
JFK has an intelligence test for finding your departure gate that does
not point you to International flights or specific airlines, but to
different terminals. Later we found out that the terminal can change
for the same airline. I guess we flunked the test as we did not know
which terminal we wanted.
We wandered through several doors that were marked "no
return" looking for the right direction. We asked door attendants
or anyone who looked as if they might work for the airport ,
"Where is Egypt Air?" It was always downstairs or upstairs
or both. "I've never been so tired of dragging a suitcase in my
life. Why, oh why, did we decide to carry luggage on instead of
We followed signs for Terminal 4 outside and crossed streets dodging
cabs and climbing stairs with suitcases. Could this possibly be the
way to get there or just a new way to aggravate travelers? What a
nightmare! Finally, we found the AirTrain that went to Terminal 4. It
was remarkably similar to the London Underground, but it did take us to the allusive Terminal 4 instead of
Cockfoster, so we knew we were going to the right country, at least.
Our Delta plane from Nashville had been a connector plane about the
size of one of my grandson's toys, two seats on one side and one on
the other. We had to beg for seats together when we picked up boarding
The Egypt Air plane, in contrast, was the size of a high school
auditorium, and held about 260 passengers, a lot of people to squeeze
into a tight space for 9½ hours. We had met up with the rest of our
travel group from other parts of the country in New York and flew
together to Egypt.
Flying was the usual tiresome hassle of closing your eyes and
pretending to sleep while they pretend it is night and a few hours
later turn on the lights and wake you up for breakfast. It was
impossible to sleep due to crying babies, screaming children, people
talking, and the constant stream of people going back and forth to the
Landing in Egypt, we were in the back of the plane and by the time we
got off the rest of the group had run to baggage claim and forgotten
all about us. We were not experienced travelers who knew the routine
and landing in a foreign country with no idea where to go or what to
do next was a bit disorienting.
Between the plane and baggage pick-up, we had to go through customs
and once through, there was no return. Fortunately, we finally caught
up with the group. They could not imagine why we were upset because
they had not waited.
A representative from the travel agency met us at baggage pickup. We
couldn't figure out why ours couldn't meet us at the plane like other
tour guides, but after going all night without sleep, we just followed
instructions like cattle.
We tied the required red ribbons on our luggage that would come to
identify our group as the "red group" vs. the other "blue
group". We were just happy to know that we were actually in
The days to follow might be a great adventure, but right now the only
adventure I really wanted was to go to bed and sleep in a real bed
with real pillows and no turbulence or crying children until morning.
Copyright 2010 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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