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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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The Ego Car....
 


The Ego Car

I have this thing about Corvettes. About six years ago, I bought my first one. My first big mistake was the day I let a salesperson talk me into a test drive. From that day on, I just couldn't get it out of my mind. 

Being a practical person, I kept trying to justify my need for one in some way. If I could just find one redeeming value to justify it, perhaps I could rationalize it to myself. 

Gas mileage? Nope, big engine was a gas hog and had to have super premium gas. 

Comfort? Needed a shoe horn to get in and out of those low bucket seats, and it rode rough, built for performance not luxury. 

Space? No room for anything…low overhead, no back seat, and no trunk. 

Safety? Don't make me laugh! One of the worse records on the road! Getting insurance is a nightmare! Even with a perfect driving record, my insurance company said they would have to cancel me - just because it was a Corvette. 

Economy? Expensive and still just a glorified Chevy. 

Nope, there is not one practical thing about a Corvette. But…I wanted it! It was sleek and beautiful and had those cute little headlights that flip up! Yes, I had "the fever." 

I didn't know then what all Vette owners know - it's The Fever. Corvettes just get in your blood.

So, darn the precautions, full speed ahead. I bought the car and found out about life in the fast lane. I knew I liked it - but what I hadn't realized was how other people would react. It's amazing! Remember when you had a new car, how everyone looked at it, and how it made you feel special to drive it? Well, it's like that every time you drive a Vette. People always look and always make comments. They call it the "Corvette Mystique".

There are clubs just for Corvette owners, magazines with Corvette news and tips. Corvette is the only car with its own museum dedicated just to that car. Antique Corvettes become classic cars worth a fortune. There are shows and runs, a whole culture built around the car. And I just thought I was buying a pretty car! 

Then there is driving it! All that power, the way the engine roars, the way it practically leaps out from under you, the way you have to hold back all the time to keep from getting speeding tickets.

Yep, I had a lot of fun with my ego car. Traded it in not long ago with over a hundred thousand miles on the speedometer. Never regretted buying it for a minute. Heck, on a warm summer day with the top off, I could nearly always get at least one marriage proposal yelled at me by a passing motorist. 

Truck drivers were the worst, of course. They would blow their horn, or make that little sound with their air brakes when I went past. Of course, I knew I was hard to see in that low sports car and tried to stay out of their way as much as possible. 

Anyone who has ever owned a Corvette in their whole life always wants to talk about it. Funny thing, most of them are not owned by teens either, most are owned by middle-aged people. They always say they had wanted one for their whole life. It's a dream car, I guess.  

So -- that's the story on my ego car, but it isn't over. I traded it for another one! The legend lives! I love it!


Copyright 1998 Sheila Moss
 
 



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