Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
Decisions, Decisions, Decisions
we going anywhere this weekend?" Honey asks me.
"I don't know."
If he has asked me this once, he has asked a dozen times. Why can't he
just say, "I would like to do something this weekend?" But
if he did that, he would have to say where he wants to go, and that
would involve making a decision.
Men are always very decisive about which sports teams are best and
what program to watch on TV, but when it comes to something as simple
as picking a restaurant to eat out, they can't decide.
Almost every time we go out, it ends up going something like this:
ME: Let's eat out.
HIM: Okay, where do you want to go?
ME: I don't care as long as I don't have to cook dinner.
HIM: Okay, pick a place.
ME: What do you want to eat?
HIM: It doesn't matter to me.
And so it goes until I finally say the name of a restaurant. I tend to
favor local restaurants, not because they are better but because they
are closer. I only want to eat and go home, especially on a weeknight.
Eating out during the week is not a gourmet dining experience as far
as I'm concerned.
Of course, if I pick the wrong place, he complains about the food. He
doesn't like chicken, he does not eat pork and he does not eat seafood
or catfish. That somewhat limits the choices.
I have my prejudices against certain restaurants and I never pick
them. I don't like Olive Garden. Why? I don't know why, something
about the spaghetti sauce. "You could order something else
besides a marinara sauce," says Honey. He doesn't argue too much
though, as he really wants a steak.
"Let's go either to Cheddars or to Logan's."
"Tell me which one."
Eeny, meeny miny, moe - I don't care which one, just go. Finally, I
say, "Cheddars, if they are not too crowded."
Every local chain has a problem of some sort. Cheddars is always
crowded. Chili's will let you starve to death before they bring food.
Logan's gives you peanuts, bread, a salad and a drink while you wait.
By the time the food arrives, you are no longer hungry. Jim &
Nick's is never crowed, has great food and service, but they feature
pork barbecue. "You can order something else," I say. He
would prefer another place.
And it goes on and on. We usually end up at Cracker Barrel, not
because we love Cracker Barrel, but because it is a compromise place
and we are hungry.
"Did I ask if we are going anywhere this weekend?"
"I don't know. Did you have a place in mind?" I know he
doesn't. He wants to do something, but he doesn't want to bother with
looking for a place to go. Even though he has more free time than I
do, he has important things to do, like watching sports on TV.
I guess I will find something for us to do this weekend. He will be
happy because he doesn't have to decide on anything and I will be
happy because I don't have to hear football on TV all weekend.
"Let me know when you decide where we are going."
"I will. By the way, did you make hotel reservations for next
weekend?" We have been planning this trip for a year. I told him
that he is responsible for the hotel reservations and I am responsible
for the event registration.
"You didn't tell me where to call," he says.
I should have known.
Copyright 2013 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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