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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Dear Old Dad....
 


Honoring Dear Old Dad

All over America, fathers will be excited because it is "their" day Ė Fatherís Day. Right. Like they really care. Another shirt, another tie, another jewelry tray to put on their dresser. 

Yeah, they are really excited. Like they really have any jewelry, unless you count the tie tack you gave them last year for Fatherís Day, the dog tags left over from military service, or the cankered cuff links that are so old that dad isnít even sure exactly where they came from anymore.

And the worst part of it all is the fact that the adult kids will come home on Fatherís Day to visit, probably bringing the grandchildren. Fathers canít even enjoy peace and quiet on "their" day. 

However, a few thoughtful kids will probably take father out to eat instead of buying him another shoe polishing kit. Food is good, especially if it is an all-you-can-eat food bar where dad can really pig out. Of course, it will probably be crowded with all the other thoughtful families who are taking their fathers out to food bars also. By the way, ever notice the people that frequent food bars? Itís enough to spoil a personís appetite.

What dad would really like is probably a big screen TV or a seasonís pass to the baseball game. Now that would be a gift worth receiving. Not many kids have the funds to fork over to dear old dad for that sort of gift. If they do, they probably just use it to buy their own home theater system and then invite dad over to see it. 

Oh, well. It was a thought anyhow. Thatís okay; dad still has the old reliable Zenith parked in the corner of the den and a remote control - if the grandchildren havenít lost it yet.

Younger fathers may still enjoy Fatherís Day. It is the novelty of the whole thing, the extra attention. So what if they eat out at a fast food steakhouse and the kidsí names are scribbled on the Happy Fatherís Day card with a crayon? 

Itís merely the fact that the kids notice that dad is around sometime other than on allowance day or the day of a little league ball game. Yes, itís the thought that counts! After all, these moppets did not get here on their own, and itís about time they remembered that!

If dad is lucky, they will forget all about him by afternoon. He can escape to the basement and piddle with his tools or go outside and mow the lawn. Fathers are not used to being honored. Fathers are used to being ignored. All this attention is more than a father can bear. Kinda makes a heart proud, though. They remembered! They know where they came from! Good genes, these kids.

Wonder what a dad is suppose to do with yet another wallet, though? Put it in the drawer with all the other wallets? Maybe one of these years he will actually need a new wallet and when he does, he will be ready. Thanks kids, dad is overwhelmed with joy. Who knows, maybe next year they will just forget about the whole thing.

Now, where did the remote control go? Oh, no! Not again!


Copyright 2000 Sheila Moss
 
 



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