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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Online Since 1999

Daylight Saving Time....
 


How do you know when it's

Daylight Saving Time

You're so sleepy that you can't get up and you jump out of bed thinking you have overslept!

You stagger to the bathroom and fall over the dog that is still sound asleep.

The timer on the coffee pot isn't set right, and there is no coffee.

You try to fix the clock on the microwave and set the timer instead Ė you wonder why a microwave needs a clock anyhow?

You decide this is really all a secret plot by "morning people" to get "night people" out of bed earlier.

The clock in your car has the right time for the first time since last October.

You arrive for church an hour late - just as everyone else is leaving.

You feel exhausted (and will for weeks) even though you missed only one hourís sleep.

Your computer clock sets itself ahead, but you forget and set it ahead again.

At the office on Monday all the clocks say 7 a.m., so you put your head on your desk and wake up later to find that the clocks were all wrong.

Half the office arrives an hour late, saying they forgot to change the clock. You secretly wonder why they did not arrive an hour early in October.

You take a two hour lunch break and say you forgot to change your wristwatch. ("getting even time.")

You have an extra hour of light in the evening Ė just enough time to mow the lawn.

The timer is wrong on the VCR so you don't get the last hour of the movie you were recording Ė but you donít notice it until after youíve watched the first half.

You decide to reset the time on "singing bird clock"  It starts singing and wonít shut up until you remove the batteries.

Itís dinner time according to the clock, but you are not hungry Ė yet.

You go to bed at your regular time, but youíre not sleepy yet, so you stay up an extra hour.

You wonder where all the energy is that we are conserving because you sure could use some of it.

You consider moving to Arizona where they donít participate in this nonsense.


Copyright 2001 Sheila Moss
 
 



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