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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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The Creation....
 


The Creation  

1. In the beginning there was no Internet, no World Wide Web, not even e-mail - nothing - just God.

2. The world was without an Information Highway, so God said, "Let there be computers!"

3. God divided the "on" switches and the "off" switches and the first computer was created. He called it Univac, and God saw that it was good.

4. And so the Computer Age began.. this was the end of the first day.

5. Then God said, "Let all the data I have created be gathered together under one operating system and let it be called DOS"...and it was so. DOS was the second day.

6. Then...God tried to write programs in DOS and He said, "Let there be something better than this!" And an Apple appeared...and it was so. The Apple was the third day of computing.

7. Then God said let every computer bring forth fruit after its own kind and the Apple brought forth the Macintosh while Microsoft brought forth Windows...and God saw that it was good.

8. And God set them to rule in cyberspace to spread technology over the face of the earth, and God saw that it was good. This was the end of the fourth day.

9. Then God said, "Let computers bring forth data to fly thru cyberspace and above the earth and in the open firmament of heaven."

10. And God created the Internet so that all computers would be linked together. This was the fifth day of creation.

11. Then God made AOL to have dominion over the Internet and every web crawler that searched upon the face of the earth.

12. And God blessed them and said, "Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth with servers."

13. And God said, "Behold what I have given you. Every computer is linked which is upon the face of the earth - Microsoft and Apple (which is the fruit of the earth). To you it shall give information."

14. And the World Wide Web, and Netscape, and Internet Explorer and every programming language and every web browser and every search engine I have given...and it was so.

15. Then God saw everything that He had made and behold it was very good - and this was only the sixth day!

16. Thus the computer was created by God (not Charles Babbage, Bill Gates, or Steve Jobs) and on the 7th day God let the computers start doing the work and He rested. 


Copyright 1998 Sheila Moss
 
 



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