Humor Columnist

HOMEBESTCOLUMNSHUMORARCHIVESCONTACT
 
 HOME

 COLUMNIST

 BEST

 COLUMNS

 ARCHIVES

 HUMOR 

 EDITOR  INFO

 FIREFLIES

 LONDON 

 EGYPT SERIES

 NEW ENGLAND

 FRIENDS

 LINK TO US

 WEB RINGS

 LINKS

 LINK SWAP

 SUBSCRIBE

 CONTACT

Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

    Follow her on 
Facebook and Twitter.


 

Follow me on Facebook 
Sheila Moss


Create Your Badge
Write on my Wall

   
National Society of
Newspaper Columnists

HumorColumnist.com
Online Since 1999

Corvette Fever....
 


Corvette Fever

I get a lot of flack about my car, probably because I drive a Corvette. Yeah, yeah, I know what youíre thinking:

"A Porsche is better. You should get one of those instead."

"Americans canít make a decent sports car."

"You could get a Cadillac or Lexus or MercedesÖ something BIG!"

Iíve heard it all before. Save your breath.

I got my first taste of life in the fast lane about 10 years ago. It all started when I was shopping for a new car. "Why donít you get a Corvette?" suggested a wise guy friend.

I laughedÖ but the seed had been planted. I figured, "Well, why not look? Doesnít cost anything just to look."

Now the most popular Corvette color is red - but I wanted a white one. I went to a dealer "just to look." But the salesman, evil man, obviously hell bent on making a fat commission, talked me into driving the shinny, new red demo.

"Just take it for a spin, you donít know if you even want one until you drive it. Noooo obligation!"

I was sort of afraid. Seems silly now, but Iíd never driven a hot car like that before. I was afraid it would get away from me. But once behind the wheel, I knew what makes a Corvette a Corvette. The engine, the power, the feel! They drive and handle like a dream. I was in love, a woman obsessed. I had it bad - Corvette Fever!

I didnít know anything about the Corvette subculture when I brought my first Vette. I just liked the car, especially the neat headlights that turned a flip. It was only later that I found out they are made in Bowling Green, Kentucky, only a short drive from Nashville on I-65. The only remaining Corvette factory in the US is there, and across the street is the National Corvette Museum.

When the National Corvette Museum opened a few years ago, there was big celebration and I decided it might fun to go. Corvettes were descending on Bowling Green from every direction. While driving to the event from Nashville, I soon found myself in an informal I-65 caravan. I fell in behind two twin Corvettes traveling together. Someone else joined in behind me, and so on. There were a several dozen Vettes, a mini road tour of our own.

When I got there I found Corvettes, car clubs and auto enthusiasts from all over the country. Youíve never seen so many Vettes, all colors, all years. Swarms of Corvettes took over the city. They were parked in fields surrounding the museum and were being driven everywhere. The parking lots were show places of their own. Antique cars seldom seen outside of a museum were being driven on the streets. Everybody was a Corvette enthusiast and it was very contagious.

The Beach Boys entertained the crowd that year at the University of Kentucky stadium, but the real show was going on outside behind them. A few overly enthusiastic Vette fans, drunk on Corvette fever, were creating an informal show of their own, showing off the Vette's quick take off by smoking rubber and spinning wheels. They received the crowd's enthusiastic cheers and applause -- at least till the cops came and ran them off, to a round of boos and jeers from the crowd who wanted to see the Corvettes more than the Beach Boys.

So, I have to take a lot of kidding about being on an ego trip, having a mid life crisis, driving a plastic car - even about having more car than I can handle. I donít worry too much about what people think. I just keep my eyes on the road and my foot on the pedal.

Guess one of these days Iíll get the car out of my system; I havenít yet. Something about sliding in those bucket seats and smelling the leather still makes the adrenaline flow. It has a ton of power and temptation to speed is a constant problem. It is, after all, a racecar capable of 180 mph. Some people say they are unsafe, but I say it is the way people drive them that creates the high accident rate. Actually, the low center of gravity, wide tires, fast getaway, and ability to be maneuvered can be a safety factor -- as long as you can behave yourself.

I drive mine pretty much like I would drive any other car. When I go to the local grocery store, the teenage carryout boy that brings groceries to the car will usually do a double take.

"Boy, I like your car!" he will invariable say. "Thatís the kind of car I want!" I smile. He could never get insurance. At his age it would be a high-risk insurance pool, for sure.

But, I always just grin and say, "Thanks, I hope you get one some day. They are a lot of fun!" Why kill a dream?

Long live Corvette fever!


Copyright 2007 Sheila Moss
 
 



Get the
Humor Columnist Newsletter


Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN  37219
E-Mail

AVAILABLE  NOW


E-Mail
Autographed Copy
$5.00 + $4 shipping



Buy it now!
$5.00 + shipping
E-Mail

      home · best . columns · humor · archives · contact  
    © Copyright 1999-2015 Sheila Moss - All rights reserved - © Template by thetemplatestore.com
The copyright for this website and the material on this website are owned by Sheila Moss.
You may request permission to use the copyrighted materials on this website by writing to Sheila Moss.
Use of these copyrighted materials without written permission may result in legal action against you.