A Cold Day in Hell
What do you mean, "Where have I been all
night?" Iíve been trying to get home. It is a nightmare out
there. I was stuck on the bypass for over 15 hours!
"You donít believe me?" Look at me! I am
half-frozen, smell like a locker room, and am going to pass out from
dehydration at any minute. What do you think I was doing?
Donít you watch TV? Iím telling you, it was a
disaster. Cars spinning out on the ice, jack-knifed semiís, wrecks
every ten feet. Iím surprised I made it at all. At least you could
act glad to see me, even if you are not.
"Why didnít I call", you ask? I tried to
call, but the lines were jammed. Thatís the trouble with cell
phones; you canít get through because everybody else is trying to
get through too. You have no idea what it was like out there. It was
like hell finally froze over.
Image this, half of Atlanta on the Interstate without
any bread, milk or toilet paper. You know how we always try to be
prepared at the first snowflake, and when disaster happened, it caught
us all off guard. I know the weatherman predicted it, but the
weatherman is always predicting snow and then we donít get any. I
didnít believe him, and, apparently, neither did anyone else.
"Go to a motel?" All the motels anywhere
close to an Interstate were full, thatís why. I actually considered
spending the night at Home Depot on a lawn chair, but I figured you
would be worried and I wanted to get home.
No, Iíve not been drinking!
"I should have stopped somewhere and used a
phone?" I did stop! But after waiting 2 hours in line for gas, I
didnít want to take any more time trying to find a land-line.
Besides, phones were all jammed. Even the 911 switchboard was jammed.
People were frustrated, angry, cold, hungry, having babies in cars and
Thank goodness I have that car charger or my cell
phone would have gone dead. At least I had something to do, posting on
Twitter and reading Twits from other people stuck on the Interstate. I
donít suppose you bothered to check Facebook or Twitter?
"Watching movies on Netflix?" Did you happen to look out the
window and see that it was snowing?
Actually, I left the office early, just as soon as I
saw the first flakes. Trouble was, so did everyone else. The town
emptied out like it was being sucked up by a giant snow blower.
Offices were closed, schools let out, and businesses shut down.
Unfortunately, we all ended up stuck together in the snow.
I saw school busses with kids stuck in them and it
said on the radio that a lot of busses could not make it at all and
kids were stranded in schools. Parents couldnít get there either as
they were stuck in traffic, just like me. I didnít see a salt truck
or road scraper the entire time.
"Only two inches?" You donít understand!
It packed down and turned into ice. The bypass was the worldís
longest skating rink. People were spinning their tires and not going
anywhere. And the ones not spinning were in the ditch. Some people
just gave up, left their cars on the road, and walked to some place
Are you nuts? Who would fool around with me the way I
Iím going to make some hot chocolate and take a
shower. "We donít have any milk? We donít have any bread or
toilet paper either?" Forget it! I would not go out there again
if Krogerís was giving groceries away for free.
Guess I will have to sooner or later, though. Do you
happen to know where the police impound lot is?