Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her weekly column in your
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Online Since 1999
Do you want to be
a snow bunny? Are you tired of spending winter cooped up in the house.
Do you want to go to a romantic winter lodge and ski down the bunny
slope? Do you want to feel the wind and the spray of the snow in your
face? Do you want to sit by the stone fireplace and drink hot buttered
Winter wouldn’t be so bad except for the weather. But the stupid
groundhog saw his shadow and six more weeks of winter dreariness are
ahead. December is gone and January bleakness has faded into
Not even a romantic holiday like Valentine’s Day, or the numerous
other holidays in February, can fix a cheerless month whose only
redeeming factor is that it is short.
As winter sets in, so does cabin fever – not to be confused with
Saturday night fever, an entirely different thing. Cabin fever is that
winter syndrome that makes you feel so cooped up and stir crazy.
Here are a few of the tell-tell symptoms:
--- The once cozy fireplace has now turned into an ash-belching bat
--- The TV has only one long program that is all the same regardless
of how many channels on the satellite.
--- Rooms grow smaller and smaller with each passing day until you are
sure you will be squashed into a Rubik's cube with eyelashes.
--- Cold chills cause shivers and you are wearing that warm, fuzzy
bathrobe that you didn’t used to think was sexy, but now think is
--- Floating cat hair and dust mites drift around in the recycled air
that you breath and sneeze.
--- You try to think of things to do to get out of the house when
there’s really no place to go, nothing to do, and besides it’s too
cold outside anyhow.
--- TV’s, stereos, vacuum cleaners, dishwashers, barking dogs, and
other domestic sounds echo through your head like a bowling alley on
--- Toys, papers, shoes, umbrellas and other assorted clutter lay
scattered about so that you have to tiptoe around it and pretend you
don’t notice - or maybe clean it up one of these days.
--- You are the captive of a weather-imposed prison, and there is
nothing to do but grin and bear it – or bust the budget for a
--- You are sick of surfing the Internet, looking at magazines,
reading books, and cooking and would love to go out for a nice long
walk if your nose and toes wouldn’t freeze.
--- You grow weary of looking through foggy windows, not having enough
elbow space, and walking on carpets that are almost as crunchy as
--- Your family is grumpy from smelling each other, and each other’s
other, over and over again.
--- You’ve run out of ways to entertain the kids and they are hyper
and won’t settle down to the usual books, toys, and games but would
rather rabbit punch each other instead.
--- The houseplants curl up and turn yellow from lack of humidity - or
lack of interest in living.
--- Sheer boredom turns life into a black and white movie and you are
the star without makeup, credits or the academy award you so richly
If all this seems strangely familiar, you too may suffering from cabin
fever. Fortunately, there is an inexpensive cure if you can’t afford
vacation and becoming a snow bunny is not your style.
The cure is called Spring and all you have to do is wait about six
weeks for a time when groundhogs won’t have shadows and snow bunnies
will become beach bunnies
Copyright 2005 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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