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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

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Baghdad Natalie and the Dixie Chickens....
 


Baghdad Natalie and 
The Dixie Chickens

NASHVILLE, TN - Americans were enraged when Baghdad Natalie of the top rated country music group, the Dixie Chickens, recently made an anti-war comment to a sympathetic foreign concert audience, saying that she was ashamed that the President of the United States is from her home state of Texas.

This was severe blow to the administration and supporters of the war who had hoped to receive the endorsement of the Dixie Chickens due to their large political following. Without the wholehearted support of the country music industry, it is feared that American troops will have an insufficient number of patriotic, red, white and blue country songs to appropriately inspire them for battle.

Enraged fans have burned their Dixie Chicken concert tickets in protest and are using the group's CD's for playing Frisbee instead of the formerly popular AOL disks. AOL has held the lead in the "free Frisbee" market for some time with their disk giveaway program. Using a purchase CD for a Frisbee is totally unprecedented.

In an exclusive interview, a radio station in Iraq questioned Saddam about Baghdad Natalie's comment from his bombproof bunker underneath his lavish palace.

"Baghdad who?" replied Saddam.

"She's an American singer."

"Is she a virgin?" asked Saddam. "It's hard to find a virgin these days and with the American troops coming into Baghdad, it will probably soon be impossible."

Americans were immediately offended by the implication that the American military would ravage virgins, which would be a direct violation of the rules of war established at the Geneva Convention, which are closely adhered to by Saddam Hussein and his Iraqi followers when judging behavior of other countries.

When Baghdad Natalie was questioned about her controversial comment, she sobbed, "I have sinned, but I didn't mean it!" twirling a lock of blond hair in remorse.

Baghdad Natalie is considered the most likely successor to the anti-war protest position formerly held by the legendary Hanoi Jane, an American movie actress who achieved fame for protesting during the Vietnam War era. As a singer, Baghdad Natalie is expected to write and perform her own war protest songs with guitar backup provided by the Dixie Chickens. She denies that money played any part in her anti-war stance, however.

It is a widely held opinion that entertainers are political experts since they frequently express their own personal opinions publicly, whether they are informed on the issues or not. Stars opinions are highly regarded by everyone except members of the military community, who think they are full of hot air. Many entertainers, however, have successfully changed careers and moved into the arena of public office.

"Do you plan to run for political office?" supporters have asked Baghdad Natalie.

"Look! I said I was sorry. I was only trying to please an anti-American crowd. Surely that's understandable."

"So, how do we know if you are really sorry, or if you are just trying to please a pro-American crowd since your comment backfired?" quizzed her former supporters.

The other members of the Dixie Chickens group have refused to comment or take a stand on the incident. It has been privately suggested that Baghdad Natalie made the comment at the suggestion of a publicist, as she is not smart enough to have a political opinion herself. This has been disputed by the spokesperson for the group, also a blond.

Traditionally conservative and patriotic, country music fans are happy to have a way to show support for American troops by boycotting radio stations that play records by the Dixie Chickens. Although it is claimed that sales of their new album have not been affected by the incident, the Chickens have remained out of the country. Allegedly they are afraid to return and face hostile country music fans, many of which are known to have pickup trucks with gun racks, and to be pro-American sympathizers.


Copyright 2003 Sheila Moss
 
 



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