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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Cinnamon Raisin Bagel....
 


The Cinnamon Raisin Bagel

Someone has been bringing cinnamon raisin bagels to the office and toasting them in the office toaster. Every morning I distinctly smell the aroma of cinnamon drifting around the corner and into my cubicle. Donít they know that office workers are always starving to death and the smell of cinnamon is enough to turn us into raving maniacs, ready to attack and tear a bagel to bits?

At first I didnít mind it too much. I mean anyone deserves to have an occasional bagel with his or her morning coffee. Not a big deal. That was before it continued to happen day after day. Just as surely as I get settled into my office and busy working on whatever the current project happens to be, I smell the cinnamon bagel. The aroma is so deliciously overwhelming that I can practically float out of my chair, following the wave of scent with my nose like a cartoon character.

I cannot hold my nose and use a computer. I tried closing my eyes, but it didnít help. Who is that evil person with the audacity to toast bagels at the office anyhow? Iím telling ya, there ought to be a law! Iíve try to figure out who the culprit might be. But by the time I make it into the break room, the evidence has disappeared and only the scent of cinnamon lingers in the air to tingle my nose even further. Now I will have to go to the grocery store and find cinnamon raisin bagels to satisfy the craving. I just canít stand it any longer.

My friend, who is a connoisseur of bagels, tells me that cinnamon bagels are not "real" bagels at all, and that it a desecration of a bagel to put it in a toaster. Anyone with any bagel sophistication at all knows that "real" bagels must be plain and eaten with a cream cheese spread, according to tradition. Blueberry bagels with strawberry cream cheese may pass for bagels, but they are certainly not the genuine things.

Perhaps he is right, but what do I care about the rules for bagel appreciation - especially when that cinnamon scent is drifting across the top of my cubicle, taunting me with its heavenly aroma. Real or not, I must have a cinnamon raisin bagel, cream cheese is optional.

A trip to the grocery and a dig through the bread racks finally produces the foodstuff I am ravenous for. I can hardly wait to get to the office the next morning and fix my very own cinnamon raisin bagel in the office toaster. I wait what seems like hours for the toaster to pop up. When it finally does, I grab my bagel, wrap it in a paper towel, and nervously sneak back to my office like a dog with a juicy new rawhide bone.

Somehow, though, it just isnít as good as I thought it would be. Maybe I bought the wrong brand, or maybe I have just built my anticipation up too high. Iím not exactly certain. Nevertheless, I persist in faithfully fixing my bagel each morning and hoping the phone wonít ring and cause it to get cold before I can eat it.

I still donít know who the mystery person is that started this whole thing. I saw an empty bagel bag in the trash can this morning. Who ever it is must have run out of bagels. Just my luck! Iím hooked and they have kicked the habit! And why are all these people floating into my cubicle and sniffing? Okay, so I have a cinnamon raisin bagel! So what! Havenít you ever smelled cinnamon before? Now Iím causing everyone to starve and scenting the office with cinnamon. They probably think I am the one that was doing it the whole time.

Sigh! Maybe one day I can kick the habit too, but for now just quit whiffing my bagel, leave me alone and let me try to enjoy this thing while it is still hot!


Copyright 2002
 
 



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