Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
||Take Two Aspirin....
Aspirin and Call Me.
heard the other day that a new use had been found for aspirin.
Aspirin has been found to do just about anything you can think
of, so I cannot imagine what else could be attributed to it
other than curing flat feet or a bad haircut, but apparently
there is something. It seems that the magic ingredient in
aspirin is acetylsalicylic acid. Be sure to notice the acid part
as we will talk more about it later.
When aspirin was discovered over a hundred years ago, it was
considered a wonder drug, and it remains one of the most widely
used drugs for relieving pain and fever. If it had been
discovered in current times, it probably would require a
prescription instead of being sold over the counter.
My honey takes a baby aspirin every day. People who are at risk
are often advised by their doctor to take small daily doses of
aspirin to thin their blood and prevent heart attack.
I couldn't find anything newly discovered for aspirin on the
Internet, but did find a bunch of stuff that I didn't know about
before. I had heard the old one about dissolving an aspirin in
the vase before adding fresh flowers. Apparently aspirin acts on
plants just like it does on my honey's blood veins. It opens up
the plant fibers and lets more fresh water get in to prevent
One that I had not heard of before was using aspirin on pimples
and mosquito bites. Yes, you heard me right. You wet an aspirin
and rub it on the bump. Since aspirin is an anti-inflammatory,
it reduces the inflammation and helps it to heal quicker. And to
think, I went through my entire adolescence thinking Clearasil
was the way to go because Dick Clark said so.
A similar one is to use aspirin to stop bleeding if you nick
yourself shaving. How aspirin can both thin blood and stop
bleeding is beyond me. But the next time I nick myself on the
ankle trying to shave my legs in the shower, I'll try it and
Aspirin is even supposed to be able to cure dandruff. You
crumble up and couple and mix it with shampoo. Fortunately, I
don't have dandruff, which unfortunately means I will not get to
try this one. It is the salicylic acid doing it's thing again.
The acid can kill fungus, which means aspirin is also good for
I don't keep aspirin around much any more since they began
finding all the negative things about it, like causing stomach
ulcers and Reye's syndrome in children. I always use Advil or
Tylenol. I think everyone has a favorite pain reliever that they
think is better that any of the million others on the drugstore
The main use of aspirin, of course, is for relief of pain. I
recall hearing that holding an aspirin on an aching tooth would
help. I suspect that the relief is more from the drug being
swallowed than from anything it does to the tooth, but who
knows? If it works on pimples, maybe it could work on an aching
tooth. I didn't try it when I had my dry socket. I used oil of
cloves. Someone else can test this theory as I never want to go
through that again.
One of the more interesting uses I found was that you can dissolve
aspirin and use it to remove perspiration stains by soaking the
stain with it before laundering. I don't know how I made it
through life without knowing this one. I did know the one about
lemon juice and rust stains, though. Probably the same
principle, the acid.
Last but not least, some people recommend using aspirin to
revive a dead car battery. The acid in a couple aspirin mixes
with the battery acid and gives it enough juice to start one
last time. Personally, I would recommend AAA for a dead battery,
unless you want to kill it permanently.
I think I forgot to mention that the main use of aspirin is to
relieve the pain of a headache. That's a really good thing to
know as all this talk about aspirin is starting to give me one.
Copyright 2010 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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