Humor Columnist

HOMEBESTCOLUMNSHUMORARCHIVESCONTACT
 
 HOME

 COLUMNIST

 BEST

 COLUMNS

 ARCHIVES

 HUMOR 

 EDITOR  INFO

 FIREFLIES

 LONDON 

 EGYPT SERIES

 NEW ENGLAND

 FRIENDS

 LINK TO US

 WEB RINGS

 LINKS

 LINK SWAP

 SUBSCRIBE

 CONTACT

Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

    Follow her on 
Facebook and Twitter.


 

Follow me on Facebook 
Sheila Moss


Create Your Badge
Write on my Wall

   
National Society of
Newspaper Columnists

HumorColumnist.com
Online Since 1999

Take Two Aspirin....
 


Take Two Aspirin and Call Me.

I heard the other day that a new use had been found for aspirin. Aspirin has been found to do just about anything you can think of, so I cannot imagine what else could be attributed to it other than curing flat feet or a bad haircut, but apparently there is something.  It seems that the magic ingredient in aspirin is acetylsalicylic acid. Be sure to notice the acid part as we will talk more about it later.

When aspirin was discovered over a hundred years ago, it was considered a wonder drug, and it remains one of the most widely used drugs for relieving pain and fever. If it had been discovered in current times, it probably would require a prescription instead of being sold over the counter.

My honey takes a baby aspirin every day. People who are at risk are often advised by their doctor to take small daily doses of aspirin to thin their blood and prevent heart attack.

I couldn't find anything newly discovered for aspirin on the Internet, but did find a bunch of stuff that I didn't know about before. I had heard the old one about dissolving an aspirin in the vase before adding fresh flowers. Apparently aspirin acts on plants just like it does on my honey's blood veins. It opens up the plant fibers and lets more fresh water get in to prevent wilting.

One that I had not heard of before was using aspirin on pimples and mosquito bites. Yes, you heard me right. You wet an aspirin and rub it on the bump. Since aspirin is an anti-inflammatory, it reduces the inflammation and helps it to heal quicker. And to think, I went through my entire adolescence thinking Clearasil was the way to go because Dick Clark said so.

A similar one is to use aspirin to stop bleeding if you nick yourself shaving. How aspirin can both thin blood and stop bleeding is beyond me. But the next time I nick myself on the ankle trying to shave my legs in the shower, I'll try it and report back.

Aspirin is even supposed to be able to cure dandruff. You crumble up and couple and mix it with shampoo. Fortunately, I don't have dandruff, which unfortunately means I will not get to try this one. It is the salicylic acid doing it's thing again. The acid can kill fungus, which means aspirin is also good for athlete's feet.

I don't keep aspirin around much any more since they began finding all the negative things about it, like causing stomach ulcers and Reye's syndrome in children. I always use Advil or Tylenol. I think everyone has a favorite pain reliever that they think is better that any of the million others on the drugstore shelf.

The main use of aspirin, of course, is for relief of pain. I recall hearing that holding an aspirin on an aching tooth would help. I suspect that the relief is more from the drug being swallowed than from anything it does to the tooth, but who knows? If it works on pimples, maybe it could work on an aching tooth. I didn't try it when I had my dry socket. I used oil of cloves. Someone else can test this theory as I never want to go through that again.

One of the more interesting uses I found was that you can dissolve aspirin and use it to remove perspiration stains by soaking the stain with it before laundering. I don't know how I made it through life without knowing this one. I did know the one about lemon juice and rust stains, though. Probably the same principle, the acid.

Last but not least, some people recommend using aspirin to revive a dead car battery. The acid in a couple aspirin mixes with the battery acid and gives it enough juice to start one last time. Personally, I would recommend AAA for a dead battery, unless you want to kill it permanently.

I think I forgot to mention that the main use of aspirin is to relieve the pain of a headache. That's a really good thing to know as all this talk about aspirin is starting to give me one.


Copyright 2010 Sheila Moss
 
 



Get the
Humor Columnist Newsletter


Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN  37219
E-Mail

AVAILABLE  NOW


E-Mail
Autographed Copy
$5.00 + $4 shipping



Buy it now!
$5.00 + shipping
E-Mail

      home · best . columns · humor · archives · contact  
    © Copyright 1999-2015 Sheila Moss - All rights reserved - © Template by thetemplatestore.com
The copyright for this website and the material on this website are owned by Sheila Moss.
You may request permission to use the copyrighted materials on this website by writing to Sheila Moss.
Use of these copyrighted materials without written permission may result in legal action against you.