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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Rx: Operation....
   

RX: Operation

There are times in life when you suspect the body has betrayed you and those nagging little questions start running through your head. Could it be that you are really sick? Surely you wonít need surgery! Youíve never been sick a day in your life Ė before:

Has that nagging little discomfort turned into a ragged throb?

Did your co workers ask if you are feeling okay?

Did the doctorís office call YOU to set up an appointment?

Has the doctor suggested you have some "tests"?

Did you suddenly remember that you have test anxiety?

Did you have to retake your test because you flunked it the first time?

Are you so nervous that you bit the thermometer in half?

Did your urine specimen look pink?

Did the doctor tell you not to worry, because you wonít feel a thing?

Did the receptionist give you literature and say, "Better read this!"?

Did they ask you a lot of strange questions about your insurance coverage?

Does the pharmacist now know you by your first name?

Does it seem that everyone knows someone who had an operation for symptoms similar to yours?

Have you finally admitted that aspirin hasnít cured it?

Did your spouse buy you two new pairs of pajamas?

Do you have a sudden compulsion to make a will?

Did you search the Internet, but couldnít find your symptoms?

Or, even worse, did you find your problem and learn that it can be serious?

Did the doctor say you wouldn't be on crutches long?

If someone says, "How are you?" Are you afraid to tell the truth?

Do you go to sleep, only to dream about Nurse Hatchet?

Did anyone tell you not to worry and now you are worried?

Did you get pre-certified but donít remember applying?

Does it only hurt if you breathe?

Did the doctor use big words that your canít remember?

Did you get a second, opinion? A third, forth and fifth?

Did you decide to go, but only if you donít have to wear a hospital gown?

Is your doctor starting to look just like Dracula?

Can you remember why you need surgery?

Can you remember your name?

Did you feel fine until you went to the doctor?

Do you wish they would hurry up and get it over with?

Are you only cautious Ė not afraid?

 


Copyright 2003 Sheila Moss
 
 



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